Print This Article
Email this article

What exactly happens when you turn 30?

The unwritten rules of conduct suddenly require you to become wiser, more mature and to generally be on the right track, whatever that means! However, you on the other hand don't know what hit you, you try to understand how you got there, what happened to the last ten years of your life and why all of a sudden you have to act your age.

So when I start feeling a place is crowding me I decide it's time to get a move on. I usually manage 4 months before I make a cut and start packing all over again. Now I'm in Zagreb, I've been here for the last 5 months and I think I'll be sticking here...because I have a plan! The plan is to go to Brazil for 20 days in December.

All my friends know about this plan of mine and they consider me a dreamer, a rebel without a cause, they even go as far as to call it a midlife crisis! But don't you have to be a bit older to qualify for that one, ha? The way I see it, it's just another trip, I mean what would they say if I said I was going to New Zealand to start my life all over again, which by the way once was an option but then the mission to Ireland occurred, but that's another story altogether!

Well anyway my parents and friends are mortified when in the dead silence of the night the phone rings and I start my sentence with ....I have a plan, in any case they know it's not going to end well! Why? Because it can mean only 2 things: a) I'm going somewhere again without a good reason, or b) I'm going somewhere for a good reason - meaning I have strong arguments in my favor.

It happened many times before with the States, Ireland and now a new continent awaits me...but then again I sometimes wonder around Croatia with no specific reason, but to clarify occurring doubts that might have crossed my way. So. . . the other day a long lasting itch took me to Split.

I could tell you the reason I was going there was because I love the city, I'm in love with it's underground scene (err what underground scene) and because my cousins live there but that wouldn't be the truth and nothing but the truth!  The real truth is that I was intrigued by a chance meeting a few months back and I needed to find out if there was any vibe still present in that whole situation. The fact is that I'm not the type to just sit down and await in silence for whatever the future has in store for me, I'm more like a raging bull always heading for the «red situation» and just like that bull I always end up wounded.

So I headed for Split, however, I made it clear to myself that my going there had nothing to do with the red situation but on the contrary, my going there was for the sake of patriotism and  to be a good Samaritan (don't ask). So having presented and argued that whole case to myself I could sit back and....but I was still secretly awaiting the moment for the red situation to show up.

The first day passed, then the second and finally on my last day in Split he showed up. To my surprise I realized that the so called red situation was not so red anymore, it was actually a fading red but the scientist in me decided to test it so the results would be full proof! 

Our conversation started out in an easy manner until we reached the main topic of the day - Brazil. The respective Mr. Fading red asked me if I was going to finally settle down in Zagreb. I told him Zagreb was a good place for me now but I would have to get back to him on that, then I added that I was going to Brazil in December.

He looked at me disapprovingly and asked me something I hadn't been asked in a long time....So what exactly are you searching for? Where have you lived so far.....then he started naming all the places.....don't you see whatever you're looking for is inside of you?

He was right, at least from one standpoint, I remembered Sylvia Plath and her Bell Jar where she described in detail her manic depressive search for real meaning which was haunting her any place she went. The reason I said from one standpoint is that there are always different angles to everything.

My angle is that I know what I carry around with me and I happen to like that package but that doesn't mean I can stop my pursuit, I have to build on it and develop in the best way I see fit. The best way for me is imbibing other cultures in order to understand my own. Of course I didn't tell him this on the off chance that I would sound pretentious, so I decided to turn the tables around and put him in the hot spot. So I asked him what made him click and what was he saving all his money for. He said that he would never save up for a trip, he would rather buy a new guitar!

But one guitar can only bring you so much pleasure, it can't give you the answers and it can not guide you in the right direction...at the end of the day it's just a lifeless instrument. I know some might disagree with me on this one, what I mean is - it's lifeless if its hiding away in some room full of other forgotten instruments... but in the right hands, just  like in life, anything can happen.

Maybe my way doesn't apply to everyone, and even though most times I return home crushed at least I know I've lived! My latest plan is to play the lottery and win the jackpot and you know what I'll do when I get my big win? I'll buy the best guitar I manage to get my hands on and send it to a certain individual in Split with the note: NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAVE MONEY FOR THE GUITAR ANYMORE, TREAT YOURSELF WITH A FARAWAY TRIP.

Print This Article
Email this article